I'm sorry Alex Trebek, you're wrong... oh... what???

A few months ago my friend Missy sent me an email with a list of "You know you're a Law Enforcement (LE) Wife when..." jokes. I read the list and laughed my head off and agreed to and related with a great number of them.

There are so many things that LE wives do and say without even thinking about them, it just becomes an unconscious part of your life.

Tonight I was watching Jeopardy, as I usually do, and the category was 3 Letter Abbreviations. The clue was "Everyone has one of these, POV." I immediately answered (silently, so as not to wake my poor sleeping hubby) "Personally Owned Vehicle." Then one of the contestants rang in and answered, "Point of view." I (again mentally) snorted, "No stupid... it's Personally Owned Vehicle." But then Alex Trebek had the gall to agree with them. I started forming my mental picture of how that scene would have played out had I been the contestant that rang in and answered that clue. I would have stood my ground and fought the Clue Crew to the death that I was right. I suppose that I could see their point of view, pun not actually intended here, and agree that POV could also stand for point of view, but I would not give in, I would make them give me the full value of that clue.

I suppose that maybe I'm a little stubborn, but I'm sure that I'm right on this one.

There are some other abbreviations that I struggle with from time to time because I know what they are really supposed to mean, and then someone else throws out another meaning for them. I think that they're just trying to confuse me.

For example, LED's are all the rage right now for people trying to save money on their electric bills. Now to most people LED stands for Light Emitting Diode (actually I guess that most people don't even know that.) To me, however, I'm torn between Light Emitting Diode and Law Enforcement Dispatch.

I'm in the hardware business, so I know both of these abbreviations and can use them both properly. A little over three years ago I was having some heart troubles and having exhausted several other options, my doctor sent me to the cardiologist (who did not call the nurse or the Lady with the Alligator purse, just to clarify) and the cardiologist had me wear a 30 Day Event Monitor. This was a little device that I wore 24/7 for a month and when I was having an "event" I would press the record button and it would track what my heart was doing. Then I would transmit these recordings to a call center where they reviewed them and passed the results along to my cardiologist. (Bear with me, I am going somewhere with this, and it will tie back in to 3 letter abbreviations.) After I had returned the monitor at the end of the month, I waited for the results. One day I got a call from the nurse at my regular doctor's office and she said that the doctor wanted to see me and discuss the results, but that they showed numerous and frequent PVC's.

Now, as I stated earlier, I'm in the hardware business, so I hear PVC and I immediately think "Poly Vinyl Chloride." I mean really, who wouldn't right? I was then told that it meant "Premature Ventricular Contractions." I like mine better, just sayin'.

ABS is Anti-Lock Brakes right? Well to me it's Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene. I would like nothing better than to tell you all that I actually knew those words. (I did remember styrene) I had to look them up, but I know that it is the black plastic pipe that I sell all day long. Most people call it Black PVC, again, they're wrong, but I suppose Alex Trebek would probably agree with them.

I think that I probably spend more time than I should thinking about this, but I actually think about what it would be like if I were ever a contestant on Jeopardy. It would probably be best for all involved if that never happens because Alex would probably need treatment for PTSD if he had to take me on. (As you might have noticed, PTSD is a 4 letter abbreviation, so it's safe from this particular examination.)

I also spend a lot of time thinking about what inane story I would tell that Alex would have to pretend to be interested in after the first commercial break... But that's a topic for another time.

When I Find Not Me, I'm Gonna Kick His Butt!!

I grew up hearing that very phrase, "When I find 'Not Me' I'm gonna kick his butt!" It was always in response to my father asking my sister and I who had done something, i.e. leave his tools out in the rain, or something along those lines.

Lately I've been thinking the same thing, a lot, as I've made my way through the store trying to fix all the price stickers that were put out wrong. I know that I am incredibly OCD about some things, but this is one thing that truly drives me bonkers!! I think that it looks very nice to have one price tag in front of each product, one sticker put on straight. It also looks professional, and most of all, neat.

It does not look nice, professional, or neat to have multiple stickers piled onto a clear plastic shield; to have a number of stickers arranged haphazardly at odd angles, or to have different sized stickers stuck on top of one another.

After my mother and I re-set the plumbing aisle, it became clear to me that I needed to fix the stickers that were put up wrong. So I started out on this seemingly simple quest. I put on my little two-pocket True Value apron with a pack of new clear plastic price-tag shields, my knife, and a pen and started on my way. I have slowly and painstakingly made my way through the store, and now after a little over 2 weeks at the task I'm about halfway done. I've replaced well over a thousand tags that were put up incorrectly. I've broken and torn 4 fingernails, I've cut 3 fingers, and my True Value apron now has spots of both blood and mud on it.

The thing that keeps ringing through my mind is "Who does this wrong???" Whenever it is mentioned, every single person who works in our store says, "I do it right, every time." So, the question is, "If everyone does it right every time, who (or what little gremlin) sneaks into my store and puts stickers up wrong?"

Tomorrow my goal is to finish fixing the plumbing section, and move onto Electrical.

When I am finished with the whole store, I'm going to order my "At Home DNA Testing Kit" and I'm going to watch the store like a hawk, and as soon as someone puts one up wrong again, I'm going to find my culprit, and then I'm gathering the villagers with their pitchforks and torches because clearly, everyone should care about this as much as I do, and the sticker-maniac must be stopped! So be warned, when I find "Not Me," butt-kickings will commence!!!

Day 30: A Dream for the Future

This one is not so vague, and I find that this one is actually easier to write.

My dream for the future is quite simple in theory and incredibly difficult in practice. My dream is to be a sheep. That might sound silly, but I find that the parable of the sheep and the goats is a very helpful and instructive story and really gives me something to strive for.

I want to be the person that helps out "the least of my brethren." I want to be the person that gives to those who are less fortunate, who helps someone in need.

I live in fear of being a goat. Not because of my irrational hatred and distrust of actual goats, but because I don't want to be a figurative goat who is told to depart. That thought is truly terrifying to me.

There are a couple of songs that sum up this dream of mine pretty well. First of all is the song "When All is Said and Done" by Geoff Moore and the Distance. It talks about how will he be remembered when he is gone; "Will they say I loved my family? That I was a faithful friend?" The whole song really speaks to me but I really like those two lines. I want to be remembered as a person who loved their family and friends. I want for those in my life to always know how much they mean to me. I hope that my life can be a living testimony to others, that somehow people can see by my actions and how I live my life that I am living for a greater purpose than my own.

There is a song called "Glory to God" and the chorus says, "Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory, take my life and let it be Yours." Those are truly words to live by.

I know to some that this may all sound trite or contrived, but it's not. My faith shapes my life. My faith gives me the strength to go on when things are tough. There have been times that I've known that my husband is in an incredibly dangerous situation, and if I didn't have my faith, I have no idea how I would be able to deal with those times. Every single day that he goes to work, I have to rely on my faith. I draw strength from it as well as hope.

It is my greatest hope in life that I can be a sheep, that I can be an example of being saved by grace, and that when people sum up my life when it has ended that they say I was a faithful friend.

Day 29: Hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 Days

I have a few goals, and dreams for the next year, but most of them are private and I'd rather keep them to myself.

However, the one I will share is a "plan" I guess, more of a goal. I really want to get myself in better shape, but have been such a procrastinator that I never really do anything to accomplish it. My goal is to actually get off my ever growing tushy and actually do something about it.

I have several exercise videos that I have used from time to time, and I have found that they are not too bad. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I enjoy them because I don't. I don't like exercising at all. That's why I don't go to gyms, because they actually want me to pay them for the privilege of me being allowed to exercise in their facility. What's up with that?

I am going to start with small attainable goals. Even if I only do one segment of a video per day, I'm going to try to do at least a little every day.

There we have it, my goal for the next 365 days.

Day 28: What's in my purse...

As you can tell from my worst habit, I've been procrastinating for the last couple of days and haven't felt like writing anything.

My purse is downstairs and I am upstairs, so I'm not going to actually do a physical inventory, but I can probably rattle off quite a list of things that are in there.

Let's see... I of course have my wallet in there, and two checkbooks, and a make-up bag containing various mascaras and lipsticks and glosses. Also in that bag is a mint tin filled with ibuprofen, both over the counter and prescription, Excedrin, Tylenol, and probably a muscle relaxer or two. There is also the little blue pharmacy bottle of Toprol that I carry with me at all times in case my heart starts doing its funky little flip-flop thing that it does sometimes. There is a little ziploc baggie containing some coins that I've collected over the years. That is in there because I raided it for my State Quarters when I decided that I cared more about getting some Mike & Ikes from the machine in my store than continuing a coin collection. My extra key ring is usually rattling around in there, as well as a hairbrush, and my palm pilot. Right now I have the invitation to my friends Luke & Kristin's wedding, and a church bulletin, and a couple of other random papers stuffed in there.

I'm sure that I'm leaving some stuff out because I usually have all kinds of stuff in there. My purse can sometimes resemble Mary Poppins' carpet bag. I can reach in there and pull out all sorts of unexpected things.

And my purse is NOTHING compared to my knitting bag. I won't even begin to get into what all I carry around in there!!

Epic Fail, Party of One...

There are a couple of things from my childhood that you need to know about me to get the full enjoyment out of this story. First of all, whenever my Mom made tacos or spaghetti, or anything that required hamburger, Mom would brown the hamburger in a pan and then use her turkey baster to suck the fat out and she would squirt it into an empty can. The can would sit on the sink ledge until it had solidified and then she would put it under the sink. Sometimes we'd use the same can more than once, and sometimes it would just get thrown away.

Secondly, my Grandma was an awesome woman. She lived alone for the last 20 years of her life and as such she got herself into some truly funny predicaments. She would do the dumbest things, the kind of things that you really shouldn't admit to anyone, but should just keep to yourself and hope that no one ever found out. But she didn't keep it to herself. Instead she'd call us laughing her head off and say, "You're never going to believe what I just did!"

If you read through my week in detail, you know about "The Smell." I discovered it on Sunday night in my kitchen, a bad smell right at the sink. But I was tired and didn't have the energy to tackle it then.

Monday I got home and discovered that "The Smell" was still there. I started cleaning my kitchen. I washed the loaf pans that were soaking in the sink, I finished loading up the dishwasher and started it. I hand washed the rest of the dishes, and then cleaned my sink. I got out the bottle of Clorox Clean-Up Spray and started spraying! I scrubbed the counters, and sprayed the heck out of the sink and scrubbed and scrubbed. After I would finish something I would step away from the sink for a few minutes and then come back and sniff, and "The Smell" would be back.

I ran soap down the drains and let hot water run down them, no joy. I sprayed Clorox Clean-up Spray, no joy. I took the drain pipes and trap apart, and sadly, as I took each piece off, I'd lean in and sniff cautiously, and the smell wasn't there. I rinsed and scrubbed the pipes, and sprayed them with Clorox Clean-up, then I put it all back together. I went back a few minutes later, and the freakin' Smell was back.

I poured straight bleach down both sides of the drain and waited several minutes and then ran hot water down both sides, no joy.

I vented my frustrations in my blog, and then received a helpful tip from my friend Heather. So I took her advice and filled the disposal with ice and then poured baking soda and lemon juice down it and ran it. A few minutes later, I could still smell it. I tried the ice again, this time with lime juice. I waited, and the smell seemed to be dissipating. I was jubilant!

This morning I woke up and checked the sink and The Smell was back. I almost cried. I got to work and went straight over to cleaning supplies and picked up a package of Disposer Care, which is an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING product by the way.

I got home this evening and went straight to the kitchen. I rinsed out the dishes that had appeared in my sink today and put them in the dishwasher. Then I used the Disposer Care. When it was all done I gave my disposal a very thorough check and was stunned at how clean it was. A few minutes later I went back over and The Effing Smell was BACK!!!

At this point I was truly beside myself. I started hysterically thinking that a mouse had died somewhere in my kitchen, so I started pulling things out from the wall and checking behind them. As I leaned in to pull the espresso maker out, I caught a really strong whiff of The Smell.

I looked up in utter desperation and my eyes fell upon a can sitting on the window ledge with a couple of candles, and a shotglass that has Lucie's baby tooth in it. The seemingly harmless Refried Bean can sat there innocently enough. Realization hit me hard. Feeling simultaneously over-joyed, furious, and ridiculously ashamed I grabbed the can that I had put grease into last week and realized that I had found The Smell. I took the can straight out to the outside garbage can and chucked it in. I came back in and leaned over my sink and breathed deeply... nothing but a citrus-y fresh scent.

I filed this life lesson under "ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?????"

I knew instinctively that this was one of those moments that I should keep to myself and never tell a soul, so I did the only thing I could do. I picked up the phone and called my mother, laughing my head off, and told her what I had done. Then I called my sister and told her.

I guess the silver lining to all this is that I have the cleanest pipes in 3 counties, and my garbage disposal is sparkling clean.

Day 27: My Worst Habit

My worst habit would have to be procrastination and lack of follow through. Although those two seem to go hand in hand. I have all these great intentions but I am terrible at following through with them, or I put it off until tomorrow, and then tomorrow comes and I put it off again.

I'd like to say that I'm getting better about it, but I think I am just getting better at it. Case in point? I looked at today's topic and said to myself, "I don't really feel like doing this right now, maybe I'll skip today and do it tomorrow."

I don't even really have much to add to this, just that I always put off until tomorrow what I could have done a month ago.

Day 26: My Week (In Great Detail.)

Ok, so I my week all typed out, and it was so boring, I had to erase it all. Really, does anyone want to know about my week in great detail? And if so, why?

In a nutshell my week went sleep, cough, take temperature, blow my nose. Sleep, cough, take temperature, blow nose... Watch some TV, sleep, cough, take temperature, blow nose. That was the first several days. I ate occasionally, and even showered a few times.

I went to the doctor twice, took Matt to the dentist, and worked for a couple of days. I went to church and then went to work after that. Today I took Matt in for Lasik eye surgery, and then came home and battled my dirty house. I think that the DDD snuck back into my house and launched another full scale attack on me.

I was so tired, and all I wanted was to come home and take a nap but I got home and I couldn't avoid the mess. So I realized that turning the power of my crankiness towards my dirty house really gave me an almost manic energy to clean.

I swept, and really, not to sound too much like a Swiffer commercial, I've discovered that my broom really doesn't do a good job. Then I used my little Swiffer vacuum, and picked up all the stuff that my broom missed. Then I mopped. Then I vacuumed my pantry, my TV room, and my couch. Then I took apart the vacuum and cleaned it. I washed the filters and the canisters and currently have them air drying in my laundry room.

But the worst part of my house cleaning experience is "The Smell." I have a bad smell in my sink and I am completely bewildered by it. I've cleaned the sink, I've scrubbed the sink stopper, I scrubbed out the garbage disposal. Each time I finish something, I think I've gotten rid of it, and then I go back a few minutes later and it's back. I took the trap apart. I rinsed and scrubbed the pipes and trap and sprayed them down with Clorox Clean-Up Spray and put them back together. Each step of the way I checked to see if I'd located the location of The Smell, and each time I was disappointed.

I poured straight bleach down both sides of the drain and let it sit for several minutes. Then I ran hot water down and waited a few minutes and sniffed again. I think I may have beaten it, but I'm still totally perplexed by this because it makes no sense. I've narrowed it down and the only possibility I can come up with is sewer gas coming out of the trap, and since the trap hasn't been allowed to dry out, there should be no possible way for sewer gas to come out of the trap.

I'm going to go check it again in a few minutes, and if The Smell has returned, then I think that the only recourse I'll have left is to call a priest and have him perform an exorcism on my sink drain.

Aren't you all glad you read about my week in great detail now? Nose blowing and sewer gas... what an exciting week!

Day 25: My Day (In Great Detail.)

Whoa Nelly, whoever came up with this list obviously didn't know me at all. When do I not go into detail about things?

Luckily for anyone who might be reading this, today I have not done much, so I can describe my day in great detail and still keep it down to a manageable 3 or 4 chapters.

Let's see, I woke up at 2:41 am on my clock, which meant that it was actually 2:17 am because my alarm clock is 24 minutes fast. I'm not sure why it is 24 minutes fast, it started at 20 minutes, but has been creeping up there by inadvertently hitting the minute button every once and awhile. Anyway, I woke up at 2:41 am because I was coughing. I got up and took about a half dose of my magical cough potion. I went back to bed, and was asleep again soon. I woke up again at about 7:30 (I'm not sure if this was the real 7:30 or my clock's 7:30.) I dozed off and on until 8:55 at which point I leaped out of bed because I needed to be on my way to the doctor's office at 9:00. I ran into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, and put my contacts in. After 22+ years of wearing contacts I actually had a new contact related experience this morning... I would highly recommend that any contact wearer who goes to put their contacts in right after brushing their teeth would make VERY sure that there is no toothpaste left on their finger. Life lesson learned - toothpaste on a contact inserted into your eye will burn like a mother...

I brushed my hair, put on my sweats, convinced Lucie to stay on the bed and sleep instead of wanting to get up, and then ran out the door. I drove to my doctor's office as rapidly as I dared since my appointment was at 9:30 and arrived at the office at 9:32. While I checked in and scheduled my follow-up appointment as well as my yearly check-up, I chatted with one of my old sergeants from Blaine PD who happened to be in the office at the same time. I then went back into the exam room where I was told to lie down on the table face up, and I proceeded to have a Carotid Artery Ultra-sound. It was kind of a weird experience. The one time I looked at the screen I saw a big red section. That freaked me out because when is red ever good, right? He finished my exam, and I got up and left the office, and drove home. As I left the office I texted my good friend Heidi who is a vascular ultrasound technician and told her about my appointment and that I saw red, and said, "That can't be good, right?" I drove home, and as I drove across the very windy county I was startled by an immature bald eagle soaring up past my car. It was cool. As I approached Van Buren Rd on East Badger, two things happened at once. I was listening to the radio and "Mine" by Taylor Swift was just ending, and as the song ended, my phone began ringing, and the ringtone was "Love Story" by Taylor Swift. I thought that was bizarre timing. The second thing that happened was that for only the second time since I have lived in our house, I had to stop at that train crossing right before Van Buren. The "train" was an engine and one car, and even though I had plenty of time and room to clear the crossing before it got there, I just couldn't do it. So I waited. Back to the phone call, it was Matt calling to say that he needed to leave in a few moments. I replied, "I'm aware of that." As soon as the train cleared, I continued on my way home arriving there just a few moments later.

At home, I picked up Matt and my knitting and we headed off to his dentist appointment. We arrived there, and I received a text from Heidi telling me that red is bloodflow, so that is a good sign in the carotid artery. I immediately started feeling better and stopped worrying that I had a super blocked artery and was going to have to have surgery. I sat in the waiting room with Matt flipping through the same People magazine I read last time we were there. Then my eyes fell upon the newest one with Charlie Sheen on the cover with the question "What went wrong?" I decided that I would read through that and see if they were able to answer that question. They weren't.

I spent a little over 2 hours sitting in the waiting room, reading People, discussing pets with the receptionist/office worker lady who was working there today. I don't know her name, she's the only one I don't know. I showed her pictures of Lucie on my phone, and we discussed our past and present pets, their tricks and behaviors, and also pet deaths. I worked on my knitting a little bit. I also learned that you really know you're sick when knitting feels like a strenuous activity. Just as I was getting really really hungry and was about to go off in search of food, they said Matt was done. So I packed him into the car and took him home. We got home and I helped Matt upstairs and then as he got into bed, I went back downstairs and got him some juice. Lucie and I went back upstairs and I gave him his juice and she jumped up on the bed and prepared to settle down next to him.

I went back downstairs and made myself a quesadilla with cheese, rice, and packets of Jack in the Box Hot Taco Sauce. It was ok, not as great as I'd hoped, but I was hungry and exhausted and it took very little effort. I checked emails, played my Scrabble turns on Facebook, and then decided I was too tired to stay up any longer, so I tucked myself into the guest room again with Season 2 of Bones. Lucie was torn at this point, she didn't know which sick parent to attend to. So she jumped off our bed and came in and joined me in the guest room. I drank some juice and watched Bones for a little while, and then I kind of napped. Mostly I just listened to Bones and rested. Lucie went back and forth a couple of times.

I got up about 4:45 and went back downstairs for some more juice. I had to make another pitcher of my favorite Crystal Lite Cherry Pomegranate juice. At this point, I couldn't handle the dirty dishes in the kitchen, so I cleaned my kitchen, got my juice, and headed upstairs again with juice in one hand and cuticle remover in the other. Matt greeted me at the top of the stairs and asked for some soup. So I went back downstairs and made his soup, and while it was cooking I decided to do the cuticle remover stuff. I finished making his soup, and dished some up in a bowl, grabbed my juice and some saltines for Matt. I delivered his soup to him, and came back into the guest room and watched more Bones, and then turned the computer back on, played a turn in Scrabble, and then wrote out my incredibly boring day. Oh, and I drank some more juice while I typed this.

I'm sorry that I didn't have a more interesting day to tell you about, but just think how long we'd be here if I had???

Day 24: Where I live

I decided to not take this one literally. I could easily describe my little town and my house, but I decided that instead I'll write about where I've lived for the last 4 days.

I live in 18 square feet of sheet and blanket covered bliss. That's what I figure my half of the bed is. My entire world consists of 3 remote controls, a television, a blu-ray player, my alarm clock, a box of kleenex, and my ever present water glass (complete with flexi-straw.) Propped up on my pillows so that I don't get too stuffed up, I sleepily watch Bones, or Days of Our Lives, or whatever I find on TV. I nap off and on, I wake up when I have drooled too much and need to roll over and find a dry spot on the pillow. Sadly, unlike most people, I can't just flip the pillow when it gets too drooly. This is because of "Blue Drooly." Blue Drooly is my special pillow that is supposed to keep me from sleeping on my left side. It's actually called a "Snoogle" and it's a pregnancy pillow, but I learned from borrowing my sister's that it really helps me get comfortable and stay on my back. Well at least for a time, I'm too stubborn to stay off my left side for too long. But I digress... Anyway Blue Drooly is somewhat C shaped, so so it can't just be flipped.

On the floor next to my bed is a paper grocery bag that is my kleenex trash can. My regular trash can is really full and I just don't have the energy to take it downstairs and empty it. So I brought my couch trash bag upstairs with me. And on the floor next to that are some other miscellaneous objects. A pair of pajamas that I traded in for a much cooler night-shirt last night, my slippers, and whatever I've knocked off my over-crowded nightstand.

When I wake up in the morning, I go down to the couch, so as not to disturb my sleeping hubby, and as soon as he wakes up, I move back to my little world. This morning I branched out and just went across the hall to our guest room, and took my dog with me. We spent all morning happily ensconced there until I got up to go to the doctor. Then as soon as I got home, we crawled back in. Now that the hubby is at work, I'm back in my little world and am watching Julie & Julia which is actually what made me want to blog in the first place.

The amazing potion, er, cough syrup that my doctor prescribed is kicking in and I'm getting sleepy... very sleeeeeeepeeeeeee......

Day 23: A YouTube video

I must admit that I'm falling behind on these because the topics are getting a little more vague and uninteresting to me. Also because I've been sick in bed with a fever for 2 days.

I really don't spend any time on YouTube. Usually the only way I'll ever see a youtube video is when someone sends me one. So I tried to come up with one that had entertained me. Which may not have been a good idea, because even though "They" say that laughter is the best medicine, clearly "They" haven't laughed much when sick. I started laughing at this video, and in turn the laughter made me cough, (and cough, and cough,) which subsequently made the top of my head feel like it was going to blow off. So I don't really think that "They" know what "They're" talking about.

But I digress... anyway... here is my youtube video. You'll have to copy and paste the link because I'm not technically gifted enough to make it show up in here as a real click on it and off you go link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCFCeJTEzNU

A break from the norm...

Ok, so I decided to deviate a little from the 30 day because this one was rattling around in my head for about a week now...

I went to my massage therapist last week and as I was giving her the list of things that were going to require work I told her that I was having problems with my knee. She said it sounded like there might be some structural damage. I said, "Yeah, I might have to call the doctor." And then, without the slightest clue where it came from I added, "But then the doctor will probably have to call the nurse, and the nurse will call the lady with the alligator purse!"

And from there I told her that I thought a blog post was forming.

Have any of you ever really thought about this one?

"Mama called the doctor, and the doctor called the nurse. The nurse called the lady with the alligator purse."

Ok, now I can remember my mother calling my doctor a number of times. I don't recall Dr. Allan ever calling a nurse, except maybe to take blood, or do x-rays, or something along those lines. But he never said, "Gee, all my years of medical school are failing me," and called the nurse. I'm not discounting the skills and knowledge of nurses. I know that they are very knowledgeable and absolutely great at their jobs. However, I also know that doctors receive more training and medical knowledge in their schooling, otherwise there wouldn't be doctors and nurses.

Here is where it gets even crazier, "The nurse called the lady with the alligator purse." Who is this lady with the alligator purse? Could I see her credentials? Where did she study medicine? And why is she more uniquely qualified to handle my medical situation than my doctor or my nurse? And what's with the alligator purse? Is it her fancier more fashionable version of the doctor's black medical bag? If so, that's completely understandable. I mean, one does want a hint of color, right? Even if it is just a regular purse, I guess I can understand that too, if her purse is like mine and has been known to resemble Mary Poppins' carpet bag. I suppose it is entirely possible that perhaps she has something in that purse that the doctor would find useful. But again, I'm confused as to why she's being called in to consult on my case.

Is she perhaps a shaman or medicine woman for some Aboriginal tribe? A holistic medicine specialist?

I don't know... It may be one of life's great mysteries that never gets solved.

Day 22: A Website

I took a few days off from the 30 Day Blogging Challenge because I was in Las Vegas for a rental market and frankly I didn't have time to blog.

I did see plenty of signs and advertisements for LOTS of websites there, but none that I would ever visit, so rest assured we won't be talking about that kind of a website.

So let's see... a website... that's not vague at all is it?

I think that if I had to narrow down my favorite websites I'd have to say that obviously Facebook is in the top 5. I spend way too much time on there, and that's sad because there's not really that much to do on there when it's not my turn in any of my Scrabble games.

I really really like www.allrecipes.com because I am always looking for ideas for dinner, and I find some wonderful gems on there. I even found my homemade twinkie recipe on that site. I've found some great dinner recipes that even my, shall we say, choosy husband will eat and enjoy.

I think that my other favorite website is www.co.whatcom.wa.us because of the treasure trove of information it contains. I check the jail roster, press release, booking information, and releases quite often. I look to see if people I know are in there. I often see high school classmates, customers of mine, and names I recall as being frequent flyers when I worked for the police department.

I regularly peruse those lists, especially if someone rents something from me and doesn't return it right away. I check to see if they are a guest of Whatcom County perhaps that is why they haven't returned my property.

I also check the obituaries, most often for the same reasons. Or I check to see if any of our regular customers have passed away, and then we will send a card. I try to limit my time spent on the Herald's website to just looking at obits because their shoddy lopsided reporting usually makes me crazy-angry, and then the idiotic commenters incite a homicidal rage in me. Actually the Herald's reporting has been known to do that to. One night I was angry enough that if I had any knowledge of incendiary devices, that building probably wouldn't be standing today, and my blog-posts would be limited to whatever time I got on the internet at Leavenworth.