Who the heck do we think we are?

I was watching an episode of JAG the other night, I'll pause here so you can all mock me for my viewing choices... Ok, got it out of your system? Let's move on...

This episode focused on a fictitious story of a female lieutenant in the Navy who was stationed in Saudi Arabia, and she refused to comply with the Navy regulations for how women were to behave and dress when they were off base. While the story was fictitious, the regulations were factual.

Women had to wear an abaya and a veil, and they were not allowed to drive, they had to ride in the backseat, and they must be accompanied by a man. This woman stubbornly refused to comply, and as I watched this show I got angrier and angrier, until I wanted to somehow reach into the tv and punch her in the face!

Do I agree with the customs pertaining to women in Saudi Arabia? No, I don't. Do I live there? No I don't. If I was stationed there, would I follow those regulations? Absolutely!

To my way of thinking, those customs may be archaic and unfair, but it is their lifestyle, not my own. What right would I have to go to their country and flout their laws? I also believe that if someone enlists in the military, they are accepting that they will comply with orders issued to them by their commanding officers. They know that their personal comforts will be put on hold for the greater good.

I started to feel not only anger, but shame as I watched this. It really made me understand why so many people in the world hate Americans. If their only experience with an American was someone like this Lieutenant who refused to put a leash on her pride and bulldozed her way through a foreign land without caring who she made uncomfortable, no wonder they hate us!

I know that this was not real, but it very well could have been, and sadly probably has happened. I can understand the feelings of frustration that a woman in our military would feel when faced with these restrictions. It would be incredibly aggravating to know that the men who you outrank wouldn't have to salute if you were veiled, to know that you'd have to have one of them accompany you everywhere. But I also see that true leadership isn't about rank, it isn't about showing everyone that you are in control. I think that a true leader would put his or her own pride aside and graciously accept the customs of the country that was hosting them. Wouldn't it be the sign of a true leader to show that you don't think yourself above the law?

I also started thinking about the "oppressed" women of this nation. I'm not being sarcastic or snotty, I put it in quotes because I wanted to show that while in my view these women are oppressed, maybe in their view they aren't. I can't pretend to understand or know how these women feel. And I think it's complete hubris to project our views onto an entire culture.

We take our freedoms for granted, and we assume that everyone else in the world wants exactly what we want. Maybe they don't. Maybe we don't know what's best for everyone else in the world.

I don't want this to sound like I am anti-military. That could not be further from the truth. I am so thankful for the freedoms I enjoy, and I am thankful to the countless men and women who have given their lives so that I could have them. I can't comprehend the sacrifices they have made for me, and that they willingly do it. I was just really affected by this episode of JAG and the selfish pride of that woman.

I know that I probably set back the feminist movement a few decades with my thinking, but I think that if we want to be respected by other nations, maybe we should show them the same respect.

Vanitas Vanitatum...

When I was in high school we sang a song in choir called Vanitas Vanitatum... The whole song is comprised of one phrase that is repeated over and over, "Vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas." It means, "Vanity, vanity, all around is vanity."

Today I paid the high price of vanity in the form of utter frustration and insecurity. Today was my friends' Luke and Kristin's wedding. I decided that in honor of their special day I would put a little extra effort into getting ready.

So, to that end I hauled out the trusty old hot rollers and while they were setting I decided to give this whole makeup thing a try again. When my friend Heidi's wedding was approaching I got tips on makeup from Megan at work. So, bearing in mind everything she taught me, I started working on this fiasco that I call Me applying makeup.

I've gotten somewhat better at it since last summer's Short Bus to Makeup School post, but still I'm nowhere near proficient. I'm barely passable.

I muddled my way through powder and foundation, and eyeliner and eyeshadow and ended with mascara. I thought that I had done an ok job. I took the hot rollers out and tried to tame my hair, but it wasn't having any of that. I decided to go on the offensive and pin my hair up. I decided that it was as good as it was going to get, and out the door I went.

As I came to my first stop sign, my face started to feel a little warm because I was a little stressed about leaving later than I'd planned. So I decided to check my reflection in the mirror and to my absolute horror I saw that my makeup, which had been so perfectly matched to my skin up until this point was suddenly a completely different color than the rest of me. My neck looked shockingly white against my face. I was flabbergasted. I did the only possible thing I could do while in transit... I took my hair down trying to soften the contrast, but my hair had other ideas. Instead of just behaving like my normal and usually well manner hair, it went absolutely wild. At the next stop light I tried desperately to tame it.

At this point I was torn between panic and rage. The more I worried about it, the warmer my face got, increasing the contrast between face and throat. And to make it all worse, there was this stupid Taurus wagon in front of me that insisted on going way under the speed limit. Suddenly I couldn't decide which I wanted more, a magic wand to fix the mess that was my hair and makeup, or a rocket launcher to clear my path.

Thankfully upon arrival, I discovered that the lighting inside was somewhat dimmed. I was less worried about people noticing my resemblance to a rodeo clown.

I got back home and had only a few minutes before we had to leave for a birthday party. I didn't even have time to kick off my heels and let my feet have a break. We went to the party, and I ended up spending a fair bit of time on my feet, and then later when discussing lawn mowers and vacuums, the point was made that vacuuming would be more fun in a tiara. I said that vacuuming would be more fun if we had a riding vacuum. I again thought how if women ruled the world, there would be riding vacuums and we wouldn't have to go through all these vanity rituals before going to an event.

We got home and I gleefully changed into sweats and fuzzy socks, and contemplated the best method of removing the metric ton of makeup from my face. I narrowed it down to the 3 best methods. 1. Go down to the carwash and use their high pressure hoses. 2. Use the fresh sheet of 220 grit sandpaper that I had just put on the palm sander. 3. Hope and pray that the pre-moistened makeup removing towelettes were up for the task.

I ruled out sanding because we just got the all the sawdust out of the garage earlier today, and I didn't want to clog up the air with more dust. I ruled out carwash because I didn't have that many quarters on hand. So I pulled my hair back and tackled the makeup with the towelettes. It took a couple, but I finally prevailed. I brushed my hair out and was vastly relieved to see that had finally settled down. It's quite distressing to know that you're the model for the new Hooker Hair Barbie that's due to hit the stores this Christmas season... (5" heels and oversized purse sold separately.)

I know why I'm not in advertising...

I watch a lot of TV. I think we've already established that. I'm so thankful for our DVR because I hate commercials. I think that most of them are a waste of time. And some of them are downright awkward and sometimes offensive.

I do like a few commercials out there. Some of the Geico commercials are highly entertaining to me. Not the caveman ones, if I never see another one of those I'll be a happy camper. I don't think those are even the slightest bit amusing. But the woodchuck one, the Abraham Lincoln one, and the dogs chasing cats one are freakin' hilarious.

I saw a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese commercial that I actually found offensive. It seems very strange that a commercial for mac & cheese would offend me, but it was one for their new Homestyle Mac & Cheese, and it's a boy probably around 10 or so, and he's talking about how his dad forgot to tell his mom that the boss was coming to their house for dinner, but thankfully Mom had some of that new mac & cheese. But the kid says, "Dad really screwed this one up." I don't see any need for a kid that young to say that. I remember getting in trouble when I was 12 or 13 for saying "screwed," and now we're just supposed to accept it being said by a young child for the purpose of advertising macaroni???

Ok, now for the commercials that really bug me. I've never even watched the whole thing because I always start fast-forwarding when they come on, or if it's live TV I change the channel. The commercials are I think for Pampers' Pull-ups and they are those obnoxious "Potty Dance" commercials. I HATE that song!!!!! And really, what parent in their right mind who has a child of potty-training age encourages said child to jump around and dance when the kid says they have to go? I remember when both of my nephews were potty-training, when they said "I've gotta go" you drop everything and get them to the bathroom. You don't keep them from the bathroom and instead make them wiggle around. I'm a little unclear as to how that would help accomplish anything except Pampers selling more Pull-ups because a lot of kids will be peeing their pants from doing the Potty Dance instead of just going to the freakin' bathroom.

What advertising genius came up with this? I realize that they have probably accomplished their goal because clearly the ad sticks with people, but in my case, and for several other people I know, it sticks with us for all the wrong reasons. It doesn't make me want to buy their product (not that I have a need for it) it makes me want to blow up their offices so I never have to hear it again!