Saturday, June 11, 2016

The Horrible Housewife is at it again...

A couple weeks ago started out like a normal Sunday... I was just really exhausted and the idea of a nice relaxing morning at home sounded better than anything else.  So I had my coffee and relaxed for a while, and then I started to feel it, the compulsive need to clean that only hits me every once in a great while had returned.

I started off slowly... I emptied the dishwasher, and loaded the dirty dishes in the sink into it. And then I wiped down the counters.  Nothing too crazy... And then I decided to do some laundry, and maybe a little vacuuming.  I'm not sure what happened after that, I must have gone into some sort of trance to protect myself so that I wouldn't remember it later on.  But the next thing I knew, hours had passed, furniture had been moved, there was sweeping and vacuuming, and mopping too.  An entire room was re-arranged, I cleaned and re-organized my pantry.  

I thought that it might be like a 24 hour bug, it would run its course and leave me alone in my lazy and slobby ways.  But no... I found myself researching new vacuum cleaners.  A lot! I spent hours on multiple sites comparing features and prices.  I hate vacuuming to begin with, so the fact that I spent any time at all researching vacuums is proof that this crazy cleaning bug had burrowed into my brain and taken control! 

I mentioned to my husband that I was looking at new vacuums, and the next day we went shopping and I got a new Shark vacuum.  And if you have talked to me in the last week or so, I'm sure you've walked away shaking your head and thinking, "That crazy broad has joined a cult!!" I cannot stop talking about my new vacuum.  And even worse, I find things to vacuum just so I can use it. 

The downside to having such a great vacuum that works so well is that I'm getting even crazier than I usually am. I vacuumed our stairs as soon as I got the vacuum out of the box and all put together.  And they looked beautiful.  And then someone walked up them, and there were specks of sawdust that had been tracked on their shoes.  And I had to clean them again.  And then Lucie walked up them and dropped more hair.  And I had to clean them again.  And then Andrew dropped some goldfish cracker crumbs... and AAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  When I had a vacuum that didn't work so well, I didn't know any better.

I thought that maybe after a few vacuumings this cleaning bug that had taken over my life might subside... and then I found myself at home with a sick child. And I had a free time while he slept.  So I started cleaning the kitchen, the usual stuff. And then I noticed that my dish-drying rack could use a little cleaning.  Next thing I know, I've taken it apart and soaked and scrubbed it, and then I had to try to figure out how all the pieces went back together again. That was fun... some words were said that I'm glad were not overheard by 3 year old ears.  Then I went upstairs to look for something, and I started cleaning my closet, and then I moved on to the bedroom as a whole. I de-cluttered, and of course moved furniture and vacuumed. Then I walked into the laundry room to start another load, and of course I had to clean that room too.

I find myself wondering... did I join a cult? Is this some sort of multiple personality disorder? Is it maybe an "All Of Me" situation, and I am sharing my body with the spirit of some poor deceased person who loves to clean? Whatever it is... I am enjoying my house being clean, and I'm sorry to those that have been forced to listen to my rhapsodize about my new vacuum... but honestly, it gets Lucie hair out of my carpet!! That is AMAZING!! 

At least I know that whatever is going on, I still have the controlling share of the brain/personality because my fridge is still a chamber of horrors.  That is how I know I haven't gone full on Stepford is because at any given moment I can guarantee that there is at least one thing in my fridge that is unrecognizable, or no longer in its original form.  

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