Saturday, October 19, 2013

More Adventures in Retail

I know I left off with a teaser about Suzie and the Cat Coffin... but I don't feel the time is quite right for that story.  Instead I will share a couple of stories from the past two days at work. 

Yesterday Andrew was sitting in his high chair eating his sandwich when an older gentleman walked in. He made the typical "oh, you're selling babies now?" joke that we hear so often. I said, "yep," and Heidi said, "he's on special." 

The man says, "I'd take him any day... I assume it's a him and not a her," I said that Andrew was in fact a boy, and he says, "I'd take him in an instant, blue eyed beauty." Then as he walked past to get something off a shelf he said, "white skin." 

Heidi and I exchanged a look, like, "did that really just happen?" The guys bought his stuff and left, and I said to Heidi, "Ummm... White skin?" Then I looked out the window to see him get in his car and drive off and I said, "hmmm, I thought he died in a bunker in 1945."

This morning started off very early, I woke up at 5:00 am because Andrew was crying. I went in and got him back in his normal position in bed and tucked him in and he went right back to sleep. I got back into bed and as I was just about to fall asleep again, I sat bolt upright and said aloud, "The scanners have to be plugged directly into the computer, and not run through the USB hub, THAT'S why they aren't working!!" Then I fell asleep again. A few hours later on my way to work, I was driving along listening to a Sesame Street Singalong for Andrew, and went to take a sip of my coffee when the cup slipped and the lid fell off and I spilled coffee all down my front and lap, burning myself pretty well, and making for an uncomfortably wet lap. 

I got to work and handed Andrew off to my sister and went to the bathroom to run my clothes under the hand dryer until they weren't so soggy. Thankfully I had extra jeans and a shirt in there. I changed, and went out ready to start my day of work. It was a fairly crazy busy day, and the day was zooming by, thankfully with working barcode scanners at every till. 

At one point, a customer who has been coming in for the past 15 years came in. He said to me, "you changed your hair." I replied in a pleased tone, "Yes, I did." He says, "There's no such thing as too much blond you know." Realizing he didn't care for my red streaks as much as I do, I said, "I was just ready for something a little different." He says, "I blame it on a lack of adult make supervision." At this point I was sure I must not have heard him correctly, so I asked him what he said, and he repeated it. I said, "oh, well my husband likes it." He says, "I'll have a talk with him." 

I didn't say a word. Instead I just mentally envisioned what that conversation would be like... 

When I got home tonight I warned Matt that a customer wanted to have a talk with him because he shouldn't like the red in my hair. I guess he will need to learn how to control his woman better! Hahahahahaha

Friday, October 4, 2013

Oh Retail... you keep me on my toes!

In our day to day life here at the store, I encounter a whole cornucopia of eccentricities.  In fact, I could probably start a whole different blog just about my work experiences.

We have the customers who call to ask for a price, and then stay on the phone telling me the secrets to a long and happy life, ask about the weather forecast, tell us what's going to happen when the Chinese take over our country... ok, actually  those were all the same person.  We have customers who come in and just hang out, drinking coffee and passing the time.  Some of these are enjoyable, others not so much...

I have a certain customer, let's call her Jane**. (**Names have been changed to protect the kooky) Jane comes in, and she always leaves quite an impression with her fashion choices, her aroma, her rather salty language, and her personal stories she likes to share.

When you have a preemie, you learn just how many other people have preemies too.  You learn their stories, and share yours.  A camaraderie forms between the members of this unfortunate club that you never wanted to join.

When Jane first saw Andrew, she was commenting on how small he was, and I told her that he was born early.  She asked how early, and I went through my usual, "He was born 5 weeks early, but he had stopped growing 9 weeks early, so he was only a 31 week baby in size."  She tells me, "My daughter was a preemie too.  They took her away right after she was born and put her in the special nursery and didn't let me see her.  I think that's why we still don't have as good of a relationship as my other kids."

Then a couple weeks later, Jane was in again.  This time she commented on how small Andrew was.  I told her he had been born early.  She asked how early, I went through the usual routine.  Then she told me how her daughter was born early.  I started thinking, "I think we've been here before, I recognize that tree."

Then she starts telling me, once again, the story of her daughter being born early.  She says, "She was two months early, and only weighed 5 pounds and was only 20" long. She was so small I had to find patterns for doll clothes to make for her.  They didn't have preemie clothes back then."  I was silently pondering this, thinking to myself, "Wow! I know that I, along with a lot of other parents of preemies, would have been thrilled if our child weighed that much!"  Especially at 2 months early, which is what Andrew was size-wise.

She continued with her story, "Yeah, the doctors thought that she had SIDS so they took her away from me and put her in the special nursery."  At this point, I'm afraid I lost track of anything else she might have said as I politely nodded and murmured the occasional "Oh wow!" and "Goodness!"

Now I don't want to be indelicate, but as far as I know, SIDS only has one real identifiable symptom. Usually the one factor that points to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is, well, death. Being as her daughter is in her 40's, I'm reasonably certain that she did not in fact have SIDS.

Then Jane went on to tell me that she was here to look for rat traps or poison because she never had rats before, but now she does.  She never had them "before they put in that X-Ray station!"  The x-ray station in question is less than half a mile from my store.  It was installed several years ago now to monitor the southbound trains. Jane lives approximately 3-4 miles from the store, so 3.5 - 4.5 miles from the accursed X-Ray station.  I was wondering (to myself of course, I didn't dare ask) did it take the rats all these years to migrate those 4 miles to her house? Or has she been dealing with them all this time, and was just now telling me about it?  Did the radiation make them some sort of super rat that ran those 4 miles and have been plaguing her house?  I was really quite curious, but I didn't dare ask.

Oh Jane... you are definitely part of the spice of life...

Maybe another day I will tell you all the story of Suzie** and the Cat Coffin...