Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Great Roll Under Conspiracy...

It occurred to me today that I tend to let little things bother me more than they should. I don't think that I'm alone in this, but I'm going to take steps to not sweat the small stuff anymore.

The major issue that was on my mind today was toilet paper. I think it's funny how something as dumb as whether the toilet paper goes over or under can become a "This is the hill I'm prepared to die on" issue. My former boss told me that the first fight he and his wife had after they got married was on this very same issue. (He was right, she was wrong.)

Now clearly the correct way to put a roll of toilet paper on the holder is to position it so that it rolls over. I'm not sure in what alternate universe rolling under would be the correct method, but I'm glad I live in this one. Do people teach their dogs to "roll under?" Does the annoying childrens' song say "There were 10 in the bed and the little one said, 'Roll under?'" I rest my case.

Try to argue with my logic... you can't because you can't argue with a crazy person... you never win.

I first became aware of the Great Roll Under Conspiracy a few months ago at work. I don't know who is behind it, but there is a dark force at work in my store and they are trying to make me crazier than I already am. For the last 12 and a half years, the toilet paper and paper towels have been put on their respective holders correctly. Lately I have discovered, with increasing frequency, that the paper towels are on the holder in the "roll under" position. Of course I immediately switch them. I'll go into the Ladies' Room and find that a new roll of toilet paper is on the holder, and yes you guessed it, it's rolling under.

If I were a stronger person, I could just walk away from this, but sadly I'm not. I am so compulsive about this that I will change it in restrooms at restaurants. I have to force myself to not change it in other peoples' homes. I do find it amusing that it's easier for me to accept someone's choice to embrace a religion or lifestyle different than mine than I do to accept their decision to roll their toilet paper under.

1 comment:

  1. Ha! Finally! Someone who appreciates the fine art of toilet paper rolling! I have always been an avid over-the-top-roll kinda girl. Only, I DO change them at people's houses if I find them going under. The only good argument I've heard is that if you have a kitten or puppy that likes to pull at the toilet paper roll it will actually roll up on it's self if the roll is roll-under. Not so. So, there's no denying it: over is best.