Saturday, July 31, 2010

Move over Timothy Leary, you've got nothin' on me!

I've had my fair share of strange dreams in my lifetime. I have some that I wake up and I'm scratching my head, saying, "Huh? I have NO clue where that one came from." Last night was one of those nights. I had a series of dreams, because I kept waking up, listening to see if Matt was home, looking at the clock, and falling asleep again. These dreams were not really tied together by any normal sense of logic known to man, but to me, they wove seamlessly together.

I should preface this by saying, I had only non-alcoholic drinks at dinner last night, and I did not take any sleep aid, either over the counter, or prescription. This is purely a product of my sub-conscious.

Let's begin with me arriving home, to discover that we were out of something, and so we went to the grocery store, which was closed. For some reason the manager opened the store for us, and I was stocking up on meats to freeze, because apparently there was a smokin' deal on meats at 12:30 at night in a closed grocery store. I got up to the till and found that my husband had picked out some new shirts for me, because that's where everyone buys their new clothes, right? (They were pretty cute though.)

I left there, and got into my truck and drove to a nearby luge track (of course) where Apollo Ohno was teaching people how to ski, (yes - ski, not skate) down a luge track. It was pretty fun, but Apollo was bossy and I got kind of annoyed with him, and decided that I wasn't going to race him after all.

My friend Robbie was there, and she asked me if I would mind hauling her horses home. (Because everyone brings their horses to the luge track to learn how to ski down it, right?) I said, "Sure, no problem." I've never hauled a trailer before, but in dream world little details like that don't really matter. So I hooked the trailer up to our truck and started towards her house. At this point it must be about 2:00 am. I go past our store and see that the gates are open, and all the lights are on. I stop to check it out, and discover that my sister is throwing a huge party in our store in the middle of the night, and people are leaving the adjoining movie theater (didn't y'all know that our store has a movie theater attached to it?) and coming in and joining the party, and then some of them wanted to shop. I went to start turning out lights, trying to get people to leave, and was turning out the lights in the locker-room style bathrooms that we now have, (with hospital curtain dividers instead of metal dividers) and discovered some creeper lurking in the corner. I yelled at him to leave, and at this point I was getting angry, I really wanted all these people out of my store.

I started yelling at my sister to get rid of all the people when the phone began to ring. Stupidly I answered it. Next thing I know, I'm completely overrun with customers at 3:00 am, and then my father is standing next to me, asking me how to run a second batch of credit cards, because the normal business day's batch had run before my sister started this Midnight Madness-esque sale we were now having, and he didn't want that to interfere with the next day's sales. I tried to explain to him that I don't know how to do that stuff, that it's his job, but he got cranky with me and left.

Next thing I know, it's daylight out, and I think around 1:00 in the afternoon, and I'm still trying to get these horses home. So now I'm driving the truck and trailer towards Robbie's house again, and my sister (who was stone cold sober during her party) is in the backseat, and she's drunk and keeps asking me where we're going, and basically just won't be quiet. Also in the backseat, and I have no idea how she got there, is Robbie's daughter Annika. Annie wasn't at the luge track with us, and she certainly wasn't at Kimberly's party... so I haven't figured that part out yet. I was almost to Robbie's house and slowing down so I wouldn't miss the driveway, and I got distracted by Robbie's pretty new fence across the front of her property with these beautiful arbors over each driveway. The arbors were covered with these gorgeous pink climbing flowers of some sort, and I was so enthralled with them, that I missed the first driveway, and Annika started yelling at me that I missed it. I told her that I would just turn into the second driveway, but she started reenacting the famous "You're doing it wrong" scene from Mr. Mom and I decided that I'd better back up and turn in the first driveway after all. As soon as I started making my turn, and telling Kimberly to stop talking because she was distracting me, the sound of our front door closing woke me up.

So I guess we'll never know if I made the turn ok or not. Also we'll never know if I actually went home and put all that meat in a freezer, or just left it in the truck during my ski-luge lessons, and mid-night customer service session.

Maybe if I ever get my own time machine, I can go back in time and ask Dr. Freud what he makes of this one, but alas, I don't see myself getting a time machine, because as I recently read, there's no future in time travel.

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